Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Burda Crafts

This page is from the January 2010 edition of Burda. Here is the caption: "Mouse Trap If the cat's away, the (soft toy) mice will play! You merely have to hand-sew together all these cuddly creatures (from IKEA) to create a comfortable cushion!"
I was truly speechless when I saw it. I have been trying to keep an open mind when it comes to Burda's craft section. Maybe they like stuff like this in Europe. Maybe it goes along with the proliferation of chairs that are strictly for looking at , not sitting on, that pop up in every photo of a European- decorated room I've ever seen.
I am not saying that most American crafts are all that great. Check out the craft section at Wal-Mart - you know what I mean, puffy paint snowmen tote bags, glittery Santa faces that you can buy and sew to your finest sweat shirt, large rhinestones you can put on the back pockets of your jeans (we all want attention focused there!), yards and yards of American flag fabric for only $1.99 a yard, and let's not forget the ever-popular foam visors you can buy and embellish yourself! (Don't even get me started on visors!) In fact, let's face it - there are a lot of crafty but misguided people out there. The main purpose of crafting is to make yourself happy. I may shudder at what you've made, but if you like it and it makes you happy, I won't say a word.
But I have some words for you, Burda. Two words, but they need some explanation.
The first word is UNCOMFORTABLE. Who wants to sit on a cushion made out of a bunch of cheap, lumpy stuffed mice? Sit down in a hurry and get stabbed by a plastic eyeball! Or is this one of those fancy European chairs that is for looking at, not sitting in?
This question brings me to my next word for you, Burda, and that word is: DISTURBING.
A chair covered in stuffed mice is disturbing. Mice are disturbing. (If you want to see grownups scream, send a mouse. They'll be talking about it for days, putting it up on their Facebook, having nightmares about it...) Mice tails are disturbing. Little beady mice eyes are disturbing. If this is one of those "looking" chairs, you are way off the mark. No one wants to look at this!
The new motto for the Burda Craft section should be "Burda Craft - Always Good For A Laugh."

1 comment:

  1. As always, you make me laugh, and two days before Christmas, I needed a good laugh. Perhaps Burda needs to hear this. Uhhm, does this mean you don't want the mouse hat I made you?